It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
So squirting runs in the family.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
