why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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