Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
you will always have a special place in my vag
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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