Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Randomize
