nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
