A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
