"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
