I showed him my bush... on skype.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize