I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
