i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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