I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
