This is not my ceiling
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Randomize
