I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
