We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
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