No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
