im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
