the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
