some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
