He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
