The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
