Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
