ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
