It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
