Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Randomize
