May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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