Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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