he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
