my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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