the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
What a dumb baby whore.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
