I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
