I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
