I'm gonna have a badass scar
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
