Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
