doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
i've created a new STD.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
