oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize