My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
