Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Randomize
