She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
