I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
