I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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