I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
