Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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