is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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