ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
