when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
