Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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