btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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