I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize