im drinking this country out of the recession.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
