sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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