Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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