what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize