i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
