ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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