then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Randomize
