bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Terrible idea I love it
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
