You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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