it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
