Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
