Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
