Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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