Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
