I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
