you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
