we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize