Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
this hospital has no fireball
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
