So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
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