Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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