no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Randomize
